Monthly Archives: July 2012

How To Date: Single Parent

Bliss

Reconciliation is not a plan;
As two single parents we stand;
Procreated;
The birth of a baby created;
This;
Is bliss;
Life exploded into being;
The beauty of this blessing is what we are foreseeing;
Responsibility of innocence is honored and faced;
Extended family is kindly embraced;
Starting over with a child;
Feeling liked a domesticated cat, released out into the wild
Having the pleasure of loving my baby, learning from one another as we both grow;
Selfless giving I bestow;
To give to my child fills my heart with love, strong and bold;
Receiving back is a reflection of the mirror I hold;
Yes, my relationship has shifted;
But, a new opportunity to have what I desire in a partner has been gifted;

Victoria Levine

Well here you are, circumstances and choices have lead you to becoming a single parent.  As a single parent you have many responsibilities and sometimes you may feel as though your life is not your own.  Your life is yours you just have an extension of other lives within yours.  It is important to have a piece of it that is just for you.  You need balance and that self nurturing time that you can call your own.  It may be time put aside to work out at the gym or take yoga, these places usually have affordable day care.  It could be reading a book, playing a sport, learning a hobby or signing up for a class you want to take.  It could be getting out with your friends or having a passionate night of amazing sex.   All of these things help us to stay balanced in life.  A happy healthy life, is a balanced life.  Utilizing any family members or close friends that are willing to help babysit is a must.  Spread it out so no one feels taken advantage of, keeping it a fun and pleasant experience for everyone.  If money is not an issue, having hired trustworthy help is a great benefit.  Especially for a working single parent.  If money is an issue, trading off with another single parent once a week, watching each other’s kids, can work out well, especially for date night.  Yes date night.  You are a single parent, you are not dead.

Dating can be tricky, but here are a few tips:

Keep your love life and dating experiences separate from your kids;

If you are just looking to have fun, do not get into detail about your kids.

If you are looking for a relationship, you do want to let who you are dating know that you do have kids.  If this scares them off, better sooner than later.

Wait at least 5 to 6 months before planning an introduction.  You need to establish your feelings for one another before you start including the kids, even if you both have kids.  It seems easy to just bring everyone together, giving you more chances to see each other, but you do not want to bring people into your life that your child could become attached to and then have them disappear.

If the X gives you guilt for having a life, do not let it effect you.  As long as you are spending quality time with your children and their needs are met, you are fine.  The X may be a little jealous.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: Finding Your Yellow Brick Road

Heart’s Song

Hear the gentle voice whispering to us from our soul;
Allowing intuition to direct us with our goal;
When taking the time to listen, guidance is clear;
The imagined visualization becomes very near;
Manifesting our next move without force;
Fear of the unknown, rejected, never changing our course;
Calculated risks we take;
The line of our comfort zone, we break;
Stepping out of the box;
Limitations in our mind are sent to detox;
We are all special in our own unique ways;
Radiant in our essence, like the suns rays;
Experience is a blessing where wisdom is grown;
Desires are then discovered, setting the tone;
Change is the trigger to life’s stepping stones;
Core values are what balance us, like the support of our skeletal bones;
We must always remember the gift that we are;
No two people are identical, we are all individual shining stars;
Blooming positive actions, the door to negativity is closed;
Letting love enter our being like the dew that nurtures the bud of a rose;
Loving ourselves from within;
Is where true love begins;
Time for past baggage to unload;
Finding your freshly painted yellow brick road;
Our chosen choice is never wrong;
There are many pathways that lead us to our hearts song;

Victoria Levine

The process of life is a journey, you must enjoy the ride.  Whatever it is you are striving for, an intriguing and compatible relationship, sexual experiences, a new career, buying a home, moving to a new country, meeting new people to have fun with, whatever it is, it is your life and these dreams are important to you.  Never allow anyone to stomp on your dreams.  Surround yourself with people that support you in who you are and what you are becoming.  As you travel through life you will have encounters with all types of people, from all walks of life with many different views and perspectives.  It can be refreshing to hear different points of view and these differences should be respected.  If ever anyone is more concerned about being right and talks down to you about your view, just let it roll off and do not take it personally.   This experience is just a stepping stone leading you to where you want to be.  Sometimes making you aware of what you do not want and showing you different opportunities you can either take or walk away from.  Listen to your intuition letting it help you see the bigger picture, having fun on every stepping stone, while you decide if this stepping stone is the one that leads you to the path you want to travel on.  If not,  just keep climbing and experiencing, staying focused on your goal.  Enjoy the ride.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: Divorce Isn’t The End, It’s The Beginning

Rebirth    

Time to be true to my heart;
Having the realization of needing to make a new start;
Honesty of a facade, a marriage falling apart;
Waking up and asking, “Whose life am I living?”
Is this where I want to spend my energy and continue giving?
Compassion for another always leads to forgiving.
Detours of thought always have a message;
Clearing a perspective, smoke rises from burning sage;
Words then created, I then journal another page;
This is not a dress rehearsal, I am not on stage;
Releasing the hurt of painful emotions;
I create a new path and put my dreams into motion;
As I pack;
I feel my real self coming back;
Placing my intention, as my mystery unravels;
I am aware of the path I must travel;
Moving with courage through life’s twists and turns;
This journey is an adventure, with so much to learn;
A renewal of my spirit has taken place;
The importance of how precious life truly is, has entered my heart space;
Life is very short, we must live it knowing our self worth;
To waste it on unhappiness is hell on earth;
Today is the day I welcome my rebirth.

Victoria Levine

Divorce is the death of a relationship, but the beginning of a brand new life.  Whether you wanted the divorce or your partner did, or you were cheated on or caught having an affair, the marriage was not compatible and you both need to move on.  An unhealthy or unbalanced relationship will only lead to resentment, frustration and unhappiness.  This transition will bring about a new meaning to your old relationship or marriage.  It may be a friendship, working relationship, co-parenting relationship or you both may drift apart, the choice is yours.  To end a marriage takes a lot of courage.  A person in this situation needs to realize how strong they are for going through this and choosing to let what is not working go and embrace what lies ahead.  A healthy relationship is about supporting and believing in each other.  Communicating intimately with kindness and love, growing together and sharing experiences.  We all deserve a compatible partner who understands our needs.  There are times when couples grow apart and their needs change.  Honesty spoken to yourself and to your partner about what you really want, will give you both the chance to make a decision to shift or to move on. Too much compromise is just being polite and this can lead to a passionless connection.  Happiness is the bottom line.

When children are involved, you may want to stay together just for the children.  Your children will observe the relationship that you both have and view it as what a relationship should consist of.  If you are in a loveless marriage, how will this effect your children’s view on the connection between a husband and wife?  Children will use the example you show them as a guide for their future relationships.  Children follow what you do, not what you say.

A new beginning is a time when you can start fresh making wiser choices with what you choose and desire to have in your life.  Life is what you make it.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: Long Distance Romance

Journey To Another Land

I woke up missing you;
Your arms around my body, pulling me into you, the way you do;
Half awake, slipping into a dream;
I take you with me as we travel to places together, only we both have seen;
Brought together by spirit, our souls have met before;
Living a life of purpose and passion creates the opening of new doors;
Listening to the Universe teaches us how to love with a pure heart;
Messages of our individual paths are pulling us apart;
You must journey to another land;
Following your vision, seeing the path before you is beautiful and grand;
Grateful for sharing part of my life with you;
Supporting your plan, as you believe in mine too;
Your essence still pulsates and flows within me;
I am blessed to be connected to this kind loving energy;
Loving acceptance, back to you I send;
Forever connected to you, my lover, my friend;

Victoria Levine

We all have our personal dreams, goals and desires.  These passions can take you to places you never thought you would go, down paths you had no idea you would be traveling.  It is important to listen to your inner guidance when you have these realizations.  Falling in love with someone, or developing a strong attraction for someone along the way can either enhance or complicate the situation.  The choice is up to the both of you.  Accepting the situation for what it is, letting go of control and allowing things within the relationship to be what they are meant to be creates a mindset of no expectations.  When this happens, there is a feeling of freedom which usually gives the overall situation a more enticing flavor.  You are both in it for the moment, seeing where your feelings for each other take you.  There are no hidden agendas or secret plans you want to fit each other into.  There is an acceptance of the situation.   This is how all relationships should be, but sometimes it takes a distance put between you to get this kind of arrangement or thought process going.  To have a sacred, intimate loving connection with someone is a blessing no matter how long it lasts.  As long as the openness of communication about the paths you both travel is clear and honored, you will both have an understanding of the time you will have to share together.

Love, affection and intimacy can grow when you are together and when you are apart.  Being apart can develop an even deeper level of understanding and love because you are communicating without the physical distraction, then exploring all the other wonderful aspects of each other.  Communicating on an intellectual level enjoying one another’s sense of humor and touching each other with the sentiment or words in sincerity rather than a physical touch. And of course, there is always skype and phone sex.  When you both come back together after separation, your relationship will have become enhanced.  Sex will only be that much more powerful, loving and satisfying.  The bond created through the effort made to communicate and stay connected, no matter what is going on in your life, leads to a very strong and compelling connection.  Sharing a part of yourself with someone you know truly cares about you can be empowering and supportive for both of you.  Knowing that someone trusts you enough to share a deeper part of themselves is a very large compliment of the heart.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: Are You Being Played?

Do they really love you, or are they just stroking your ego to gain something from you?  This can be a hard game to figure out.  Nobody likes to be played and players will go to any length to get what they want.

Shattered Illusions

Telling me what you think I want to here;
Being my friend because you like my career;
Promises are broken;
Lies are spoken;
Truth is diluted into sugar coated complements;
Tide of the sea fluctuating, revealing deceptive currents;
We must always remember to be observant;
Smiles pasted;
Deception tasted;
Energy wasted;
Roasted and basted;
Cooked and burned;
Lessons being learned;
Stabbed from behind;
Temporarily blind;
Two faced lover;
The pendulum swings from one extreme to the other;
No relief in the in between;
Users are seen;
Spider weaves her web of confusion;
Pulling and enticing all, into her intricate design of delusion;
Shedding skin like a snake;
Removing the grasp from those that take;
Tossing coal into the fire;
Smoking out self serving people, with greed driven desires;
Sensuality snatched;
Hurt feelings patched;
Wits matched;
Golden door of protection latched;
The attained skill gained of being detached;
A rebirth of perspective has hatched;
Crystal goblet held, slips from the hand;
Hitting the granite floor, turning into sand;
An explosion of fragments shed light;
Hold on tight;
A window cracks;
Glimpses of reality reflect back;
Schemes are transparent and splattered;
My illusions have been shattered;

Victoria Levine

Players are out there always ready to take whenever an opportunity arises.  We have to be just as ready with our observation skills to spot the player, before they spot us.  Players can be obsessive when they see something they want and to see this in action can give us so much insight.  You could be at a club or a restaurant people watching and catch a player making his move.  There will be a swift quick pounce of energy projected out onto his target. Players want to capture the attention of the one they desire.  There will be no natural flow.  There will be promises made.  A brainwashing effect to give the illusion that they have compassion for you and your life.  They take it to the extreme to confuse you and lead you to believe that this connection is special and something that will last forever.  If it is meant to last forever, he will call you tomorrow, next week and there will be no push to get you to do something you are not ready for.  I talk about 18 different player types and their patterns of behavior in my book, Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: Finding The One

Fantasy Love

The one that stays and does not walk away;
The one that has your back, communication is never a lack;
By your side, proudly, the one stands;
Believing in the love you both share, walking hand in hand;
Fantasies within dreams are brought to life and together we create our own wonderland;

Victoria Levine

What is love?  It is different for everyone.  But I do believe, when we are ready for love, love happens.  We may desire it, but not be ready for it.  If we are not balanced in the rest of the areas in our life, we will find that we attract other people that are not balanced.  It is like a mirror, to help us see and grow and make changes for the better, if we are ready.  When we have done the work to love ourselves and our own lives this will then reflect and attract others that do the same.

What does it take for love to last?  It takes confidence in the connection you both share, it takes honesty, compatibility,responsibility, protection, vulnerability, patience, understanding, communication, listening, kindness, compassion and enthusiasm.  A loving relationship is a beautiful sacred thing and should be treated with respect, nurtured and taken care of mentally, physically and soulfully.  It does not just exist, it takes heart felt effort to keep this beautiful connection alive.  Time has to be put into anything worth while.  Your true love connection will grow stronger and expand into areas of your life that you had only ever dreamed of, the more you cherish, encourage and support it.

How do we find love?  By allowing it to come to us.  Be ready for it.  Take action to open doors to make your percentages higher in meeting people without obsessing.  Join a dating site.  Allow the mutual connections to happen, do not chase.  When you meet “The One” you will both know it.

By: Victoria Levine

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