You may have one date with someone and not hear back from then, but you thought it went really well.  Just let it be and see.  There could be a past relationship the other person is finishing or some other personal obstacle that they need to take care of before continuing to date you. That is a good thing.  All you can do is be available for the type of relationship you desire.  Do not fixate on any one person at the beginning.  Leave your options open and see who matches their actions to their words.

This is how you date with confidence and avoid the desperately searching cycle.

Even when you date online it is important to communicate with confidence. If they respond, great, if not move on.  Do not fixate, be open to all the options and possibilities that are available to you.

When you do encounter a mutually compatible connection, keep your confidence intact and allow the new connection to unfold.  You have to see all sides of a person and this takes spending time together and getting to know one another.  Chemistry is important, but if you do not have anything else in common you will not have a strong base or foundation to build the relationship off of.  Ask yourself, “Could I be best friends with this person?”

By: Victoria Levine

The post How To Date: With Confidence appeared first on Get Dating Insight.

Turn the love you have for another inward onto yourself. 

We attract what we are. When we become what we desire, what we desire is then attracted to us. There is a saying, “Act as if, and then it will exist.” We are developing skills, habits and rituals, keeping the ones that work for us, letting what does not work for us fall away as we grow into what benefits our heartfelt truth and desires. It all starts with a thought that leads to a belief and then to an action. If this action is incorporated into your life you have then attained a new awareness. This awareness is your power. Your awareness of how lovable you are, how beautiful you are, how talented you are, what a great asset you are, how unique an intelligent you are, are all beliefs.

All that you are ready to accept, see, receive and be open to are there, ready for you to choose and connect with. These awareness’s instill your self worth, confidence and boundary setting.

Every single one of you is a gift to this world and when you know who you are beneath the wrapping, you will find that the “inside” of the pretty package is where the real beauty exists. This transformation is the base of who you are. When you see yourself clearly, you will then be able to see the truth of other people clearly, not the pretty package but the inner gift. You will then speak the love language that comes from the essence of who you truly are. This subtle shift will bring quality people into your life that see you and are interested in all of you, your mind, body and soul. When you walk your talk, having done the work to love yourself and your own life, this will then reflect and attract others that do the same in their life and their interaction with you.

By: Victoria Levine

The post How To Date: Self Love appeared first on Get Dating Insight.

Love must be allowed to express itself freely, like a butterfly’s radiant energy that ignites when it spreads it’s wings and takes flight, surrounding you in a magical dance of colorful light. If you try to control the butterfly by keeping it captive you will cause the wings of magic to turn to dust and the radiant light of love will dim and fall away from you. The shine that once surrounded you out of choice will be doused and extinguished from the fear of a flight you had no control of. Freedom felt within a relationship brings you both closer, knowing you can leave and put your attention elsewhere but then choosing to stay out of choice, makes each person realize where their priorities lie and how much they love being with each other.

By: Victoria Levine

The post How To Date: Expressing Love appeared first on Get Dating Insight.

The Disappearance Of Time

From the moment I saw you I was taken by surprise;
The beauty that you radiate comes deep from within your eyes;
There is an unmistakable feeling of having met before;
These magnetic sensations await to be explored;
The words we speak to each other, dance;
Our spirits become enhanced;
Our minds become entranced;
Flowing into a new circumstance;
Synchronicity brought us together at a certain destination;
Time disappears when the language of love expands into creation;
What I thought was unattainable truly does exist;
This raw, pure, kind and loving heart I cannot resist;
Tasting the sweetness of life within another;
The kindred connection has manifested into soulful lovers;
Courage supports true feelings of the heart that refuse to hide;
The igniting of a soul encounter collides;

Victoria Levine

To love and be loved is a beautiful thing.  You must be in a present state of mind and in a position of comfort and strength within yourself to let your walls down and open up your heart.  Protect your heart with boundaries and by staying detached from the outcome, but the heart must be open to have a mutual loving relationship.  If your heart is closed you will represent yourself as a cold unloving human being, because your are blocking your inner loving essence, being shut off and unavailable.  Open up and be aware of the beauty you can share as you find your soul love with another.   This soul love, could be a partner for life or a stepping stone to another soul love, but they are all divine when love is truly shared.  Just because you love someone, does not necessarily mean your are compatible for life.  Time will tell, but to connect on a caring, loving and nurturing level with someone is always an enhancement to your being and your life.  Be honest with how you both feel about all parts and aspects of your connection.

It takes courage, honesty, respect, communication, patience, kindness and the willingness to be vulnerable.  The stronger the connection, the stronger the intuition will be between the both of you.  If something is wrong, you will both feel it.  There has to be complete honesty and compassion as you both discuss your perspectives and feelings,  while being nonjudgmental.  You are both soul mates, but you are also still individuals with your own way of thinking and doing things.  These differences and new ways you both introduce to each other, can be used to grow and learn from, creating a larger perspective for the two of you.  I find it very refreshing when I experience a new way to come to the same outcome.  Our minds expand and this acceptance of new ways of your partner only brings you both closer and opens the door even wider to share on a deeper level in the future.  Trust is strengthened and fear takes a back seat.

By: Victoria Levine

The post How To Date: Soul Love appeared first on Get Dating Insight.

Anticipation goes out for a ride; Noticing your sexy stride;
Compliments go out to manicured toes; Gifting a rose;
A beautiful shade of pink; Dreams into reality blink;
Into your iridescent eyes I soar; Making a decision to explore;
A luminous path opens it’s door; An infectious smile keeps me wanting more;
Sweet energy awaits; Shared mutual tastes;
Flavorful food on a plate; An amazing first date;
Along the water front, turtles sun on a rock; We take the time to listen and talk;
Desiring your soft sensual lips; You put your hands on my hips;
I mirror you, you mirror me; The path of your soul I do see;
Feelings stir inside; Stripped down to honesty, with nothing to hide;
Tenderness exchanged; Another meeting is arranged;
Temporarily parted; A new journey has started;

Victoria Levine

You are about to put yourself online and plunge into dating.  The question-airs and compatibility tests can be mind boggling, but you hang in there because all these things help you get closer to finding your match.  So you tough it out, answer the questions and put up some pictures.  And there it is, your profile.  Okay, “I am ready.”  You say to yourself.  As you start to read other people’s profiles you realize that there is a lot more to this than you thought.  It is so much easier to just run into someone and strike up a conversation and you are either drawn to each other or not.  Now there is an extra step.  This can be a definite advantage.  It allows you to meet people who you would not normally meet.   It takes you out of your usual place of existence.

As you are viewing profiles, there will be plenty of possible matches that come to you, but it is smart to look for yourself also.  Send out some e-mails, get your responses, have some phone conversations and when you click with someone, set up a date.  Be creative, these days a muffin and coffee can cost as much as lunch or breakfast.  Ambiance can be a big plus.  To be somewhere beautiful or in a beautiful setting can set the tone for an intimate connection, meaning, an openness of deep conversation and sharing.  If you have chemistry, a great backdrop for a first kiss.  If you got along speaking on the phone, chances are you will have a good time whether you are a match or not.  First dates leave a long lasting impression.  Best to kick it up a notch.

It is important to observe what components of yourself this person brings out in you and what you bring out in this person.  

The chemistry between you already started to mix with the first e-mail.  How do you like the way your energies intermingle?  Does the conversation flow or are your words eaten up by pauses of dead silence.  You will want to feel as if the other person gets you.  If you have to constantly explain what you are saying, the both of you are not compatible.  But, if an hour goes by like minutes and you are left wanting more, feeling as though you could talk for another hour with this person, you are definitely off to a great start.  There needs to be a balance between the two of you.  Think of a weight scale.  If there is one aspect of a person that does not agree with you it will weigh you down and cause you to feel off balance, tipping your scale.  These are the things that need to be watched for.  Your goal is to have mutual enhancing connections in your life and then see where they lead.

By: Victoria Levine

*First Date poem is an segment taken from the book: Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing by: Victoria Levine* http://getdatinginsight.com/wolf-in-sheeps-clothing/

The post How To Date: Dating Online appeared first on Get Dating Insight.

To open your heart to something, someone or to a connection that is real, true, pure, passionate, kind, respectful, supportive and loving is one of the most wonderful feelings to experience, you could ever have.

To be born into or walk into a situation that is supposed to be a safe place of love and trust puts you in a frame of mind that is open, reliant and unprepared for anything other than a kind approach to communicating, sharing and caring.  To share the depths of your soul with someone and then be laughed at, ridiculed, yelled at, made fun of, placated, told you will never amount to anything, manipulated, with distorted opinions thrown at you tearing your dignity, thoughts, hopes, and dreams apart, rips apart the essence of who you truly are.

Verbal Abuse:  A form of emotional abuse consisting of the use of abusive and demeaning language with a spouse, child, or elder, often by a caregiver or other person in a position of power. 

Verbal abuse is one of the most, crewel, thoughtless, negative and controlling betrayals out there.  An action that intentionally and inappropriately harms or injures another person.  It is an abuse of trust.  This can come from a husband or wife, mother or father, someone you thought was your best friend, an uncle or aunt, grandfather or grandmother, an older sibling or cousin, neighbors, piers at school, an employer, teacher, the list goes on and on.

If this happens when you are a child it creates a level of defeat within yourself before you even get going.  You have been beaten down with words, but on the up side you can climb back up and out of it.  Realizing that this behavior is dysfunctional control, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, is the first step in realizing your greatness.  Unfortunately, there are people out there that use their position of power to control, dominate and hurt others.  If you are older when this happens, you may think it will pass, things will get better, or it is just temporary and a stage the other person is going through.  Then, before you know it years have gone by and nothing has changed.  But do not fool yourself, something has changed, you have changed.  You have allowed yourself to stay in an unhealthy, non supportive, unkind, selfish and unloving situation or relationship.

Are you in denial?  A stage of denial may come into play if you are trapped in this situation and cannot leave.  This could be a mental trap, you may be emotionally distraught, have young children, feel as though you can’t make it alone, distracted, or you may be a minor and have to wait until you are older.  Denial can lead you into wanting to numb yourself of the true reality that is going on, by going into your own world, using alcohol or drugs as a distraction, traveling on business trips or getting lost in books, whichever is the case this puts you in a state of being not present, unaware, robotic and disconnected, building a shield or wall around yourself at the same time closing off your heart.   You are not living life you are just going through the motions.  But, you became tired of the sharp pain stabbing your heart, being built up, only to be knocked down again.  There has to be a time when you stop, turn around, and say “No” to what you do not want.  Taking a stand with all that you are and knowing with every inch of your mind, body and soul you deserve better.  When you are clear about what you do not want, what you do want is crystal clear.

As individuals, we thrive in the company of people who love us, care about us, honor our dreams, respect us, are kind to us and at the same time, throw no judgments on us.  This is what you need to surround yourself with.

The Aftermath

You have escaped, but now you are walking around with a closed heart, you are emotionally unavailable, you have a wall built up around you 50 miles wide and you wonder, why you are not attracting love. Well, a loving person will see how lovable you are, but they will also see how blocked and closed off you are.  They are not sure if they can break through your wall, to the real you.  This is not the other person’s job, it is your job.

You were treated horribly.  It is now important to focus on the understanding of the situation and grow from it.  The knowledge you gain makes you wiser.  The situation was this:  You did nothing wrong except choose the wrong person to trust, you were sucked into there deceit and then betrayed.  If you were born into the situation you still need to realize, there was nothing wrong with you, you were a target of dysfunctional behavior.  You had the courage to break away, now you must use your courage to live your authentic life.  Your protection in life is this: do not take things personally and stay detached.  People’s views and opinions are just that, their personal views and opinions.  They have nothing to do with you, you know who you are.  Do not let a random perspective limit who you are.

If you choose to stay in victim mentality, your abusers win. 

Yes you were victimized, but it is now your choice to either stay victimized or grow out of it.  Now you are free to live, feel, enjoy, love and experience the beauty of a real, caring, true connection.  As these connections and relationships, or one particular connection or relationship grows in a healthy manner you will see and feel a heartfelt, genuine, consistent elevation, of unconditional kindness, respect, consideration and love.  When you are ready to trust yourself and the new choices you make by loving yourself, listening to your heart and instincts, doing what feels natural to you, you will then know that you are living without the hurtful pain of the past.  You have put it behind you as an experience and grown from it.  It was not easy, but you are stronger and more aware of what is acceptable and of what you want because of it.

By: Victoria Levine

The post How To Date: Verbal abuse and Its Effects appeared first on Get Dating Insight.

Bliss

Reconciliation is not a plan;
As two single parents we stand;
Procreated;
The birth of a baby created;
This;
Is bliss;
Life exploded into being;
The beauty of this blessing is what we are foreseeing;
Responsibility of innocence is honored and faced;
Extended family is kindly embraced;
Starting over with a child;
Feeling liked a domesticated cat, released out into the wild
Having the pleasure of loving my baby, learning from one another as we both grow;
Selfless giving I bestow;
To give to my child fills my heart with love, strong and bold;
Receiving back is a reflection of the mirror I hold;
Yes, my relationship has shifted;
But, a new opportunity to have what I desire in a partner has been gifted;

Victoria Levine

Well here you are, circumstances and choices have lead you to becoming a single parent.  As a single parent you have many responsibilities and sometimes you may feel as though your life is not your own.  Your life is yours you just have an extension of other lives within yours.  It is important to have a piece of it that is just for you.  You need balance and that self nurturing time that you can call your own.  It may be time put aside to work out at the gym or take yoga, these places usually have affordable day care.  It could be reading a book, playing a sport, learning a hobby or signing up for a class you want to take.  It could be getting out with your friends or having a passionate night of amazing sex.   All of these things help us to stay balanced in life.  A happy healthy life, is a balanced life.  Utilizing any family members or close friends that are willing to help babysit is a must.  Spread it out so no one feels taken advantage of, keeping it a fun and pleasant experience for everyone.  If money is not an issue, having hired trustworthy help is a great benefit.  Especially for a working single parent.  If money is an issue, trading off with another single parent once a week, watching each other’s kids, can work out well, especially for date night.  Yes date night.  You are a single parent, you are not dead.

Dating can be tricky, but here are a few tips:

Keep your love life and dating experiences separate from your kids;

If you are just looking to have fun, do not get into detail about your kids.

If you are looking for a relationship, you do want to let who you are dating know that you do have kids.  If this scares them off, better sooner than later.

Wait at least 5 to 6 months before planning an introduction.  You need to establish your feelings for one another before you start including the kids, even if you both have kids.  It seems easy to just bring everyone together, giving you more chances to see each other, but you do not want to bring people into your life that your child could become attached to and then have them disappear.

If the X gives you guilt for having a life, do not let it effect you.  As long as you are spending quality time with your children and their needs are met, you are fine.  The X may be a little jealous.

By: Victoria Levine

The post How To Date: Single Parent appeared first on Get Dating Insight.

Heart’s Song

Hear the gentle voice whispering to us from our soul;
Allowing intuition to direct us with our goal;
When taking the time to listen, guidance is clear;
The imagined visualization becomes very near;
Manifesting our next move without force;
Fear of the unknown, rejected, never changing our course;
Calculated risks we take;
The line of our comfort zone, we break;
Stepping out of the box;
Limitations in our mind are sent to detox;
We are all special in our own unique ways;
Radiant in our essence, like the suns rays;
Experience is a blessing where wisdom is grown;
Desires are then discovered, setting the tone;
Change is the trigger to life’s stepping stones;
Core values are what balance us, like the support of our skeletal bones;
We must always remember the gift that we are;
No two people are identical, we are all individual shining stars;
Blooming positive actions, the door to negativity is closed;
Letting love enter our being like the dew that nurtures the bud of a rose;
Loving ourselves from within;
Is where true love begins;
Time for past baggage to unload;
Finding your freshly painted yellow brick road;
Our chosen choice is never wrong;
There are many pathways that lead us to our hearts song;

Victoria Levine

The process of life is a journey, you must enjoy the ride.  Whatever it is you are striving for, an intriguing and compatible relationship, sexual experiences, a new career, buying a home, moving to a new country, meeting new people to have fun with, whatever it is, it is your life and these dreams are important to you.  Never allow anyone to stomp on your dreams.  Surround yourself with people that support you in who you are and what you are becoming.  As you travel through life you will have encounters with all types of people, from all walks of life with many different views and perspectives.  It can be refreshing to hear different points of view and these differences should be respected.  If ever anyone is more concerned about being right and talks down to you about your view, just let it roll off and do not take it personally.   This experience is just a stepping stone leading you to where you want to be.  Sometimes making you aware of what you do not want and showing you different opportunities you can either take or walk away from.  Listen to your intuition letting it help you see the bigger picture, having fun on every stepping stone, while you decide if this stepping stone is the one that leads you to the path you want to travel on.  If not,  just keep climbing and experiencing, staying focused on your goal.  Enjoy the ride.

By: Victoria Levine

The post How To Date: Finding Your Yellow Brick Road appeared first on Get Dating Insight.

Rebirth    

Time to be true to my heart;
Having the realization of needing to make a new start;
Honesty of a facade, a marriage falling apart;
Waking up and asking, “Whose life am I living?”
Is this where I want to spend my energy and continue giving?
Compassion for another always leads to forgiving.
Detours of thought always have a message;
Clearing a perspective, smoke rises from burning sage;
Words then created, I then journal another page;
This is not a dress rehearsal, I am not on stage;
Releasing the hurt of painful emotions;
I create a new path and put my dreams into motion;
As I pack;
I feel my real self coming back;
Placing my intention, as my mystery unravels;
I am aware of the path I must travel;
Moving with courage through life’s twists and turns;
This journey is an adventure, with so much to learn;
A renewal of my spirit has taken place;
The importance of how precious life truly is, has entered my heart space;
Life is very short, we must live it knowing our self worth;
To waste it on unhappiness is hell on earth;
Today is the day I welcome my rebirth.

Victoria Levine

Divorce is the death of a relationship, but the beginning of a brand new life.  Whether you wanted the divorce or your partner did, or you were cheated on or caught having an affair, the marriage was not compatible and you both need to move on.  An unhealthy or unbalanced relationship will only lead to resentment, frustration and unhappiness.  This transition will bring about a new meaning to your old relationship or marriage.  It may be a friendship, working relationship, co-parenting relationship or you both may drift apart, the choice is yours.  To end a marriage takes a lot of courage.  A person in this situation needs to realize how strong they are for going through this and choosing to let what is not working go and embrace what lies ahead.  A healthy relationship is about supporting and believing in each other.  Communicating intimately with kindness and love, growing together and sharing experiences.  We all deserve a compatible partner who understands our needs.  There are times when couples grow apart and their needs change.  Honesty spoken to yourself and to your partner about what you really want, will give you both the chance to make a decision to shift or to move on. Too much compromise is just being polite and this can lead to a passionless connection.  Happiness is the bottom line.

When children are involved, you may want to stay together just for the children.  Your children will observe the relationship that you both have and view it as what a relationship should consist of.  If you are in a loveless marriage, how will this effect your children’s view on the connection between a husband and wife?  Children will use the example you show them as a guide for their future relationships.  Children follow what you do, not what you say.

A new beginning is a time when you can start fresh making wiser choices with what you choose and desire to have in your life.  Life is what you make it.

By: Victoria Levine

The post How To Date: Divorce Isn’t The End, It’s The Beginning appeared first on Get Dating Insight.

I woke up missing you;
Your arms around my body, pulling me into you, the way you do;
Half awake, slipping into a dream;
I take you with me as we travel to places together, only we both have seen;
Brought together by spirit, our souls have met before;
Living a life of purpose and passion creates the opening of new doors;
Listening to the Universe teaches us how to love with a pure heart;
Messages of our individual paths are pulling us apart;
You must journey to another land;
Following your vision, seeing the path before you is beautiful and grand;
Grateful for sharing part of my life with you;
Supporting your plan, as you believe in mine too;
Your essence still pulsates and flows within me;
I am blessed to be connected to this kind loving energy;
Loving acceptance, back to you I send;
Forever connected to you, my lover, my friend;

Victoria Levine

We all have our personal dreams, goals and desires.  These passions can take you to places you never thought you would go, down paths you had no idea you would be traveling.  It is important to listen to your inner guidance when you have these realizations.  Falling in love with someone, or developing a strong attraction for someone along the way can either enhance or complicate the situation.  The choice is up to the both of you.  Accepting the situation for what it is, letting go of control and allowing things within the relationship to be what they are meant to be creates a mindset of no expectations.  When this happens, there is a feeling of freedom which usually gives the overall situation a more enticing flavor.  You are both in it for the moment, seeing where your feelings for each other take you.  There are no hidden agendas or secret plans you want to fit each other into.  There is an acceptance of the situation.   This is how all relationships should be, but sometimes it takes a distance put between you to get this kind of arrangement or thought process going.  To have a sacred, intimate loving connection with someone is a blessing no matter how long it lasts.  As long as the openness of communication about the paths you both travel is clear and honored, you will both have an understanding of the time you will have to share together.

Love, affection and intimacy can grow when you are together and when you are apart.  Being apart can develop an even deeper level of understanding and love because you are communicating without the physical distraction, then exploring all the other wonderful aspects of each other.  Communicating on an intellectual level enjoying one another’s sense of humor and touching each other with the sentiment or words in sincerity rather than a physical touch. And of course, there is always skype and phone sex.  When you both come back together after separation, your relationship will have become enhanced.  Sex will only be that much more powerful, loving and satisfying.  The bond created through the effort made to communicate and stay connected, no matter what is going on in your life, leads to a very strong and compelling connection.  Sharing a part of yourself with someone you know truly cares about you can be empowering and supportive for both of you.  Knowing that someone trusts you enough to share a deeper part of themselves is a very large compliment of the heart.

By: Victoria Levine

The post How To Date: Long Distance Romance appeared first on Get Dating Insight.