How To Date: Are You Being Played?

Do they really love you, or are they just stroking your ego to gain something from you?  This can be a hard game to figure out.  Nobody likes to be played and players will go to any length to get what they want.

Shattered Illusions

Telling me what you think I want to here;
Being my friend because you like my career;
Promises are broken;
Lies are spoken;
Truth is diluted into sugar coated complements;
Tide of the sea fluctuating, revealing deceptive currents;
We must always remember to be observant;
Smiles pasted;
Deception tasted;
Energy wasted;
Roasted and basted;
Cooked and burned;
Lessons being learned;
Stabbed from behind;
Temporarily blind;
Two faced lover;
The pendulum swings from one extreme to the other;
No relief in the in between;
Users are seen;
Spider weaves her web of confusion;
Pulling and enticing all, into her intricate design of delusion;
Shedding skin like a snake;
Removing the grasp from those that take;
Tossing coal into the fire;
Smoking out self serving people, with greed driven desires;
Sensuality snatched;
Hurt feelings patched;
Wits matched;
Golden door of protection latched;
The attained skill gained of being detached;
A rebirth of perspective has hatched;
Crystal goblet held, slips from the hand;
Hitting the granite floor, turning into sand;
An explosion of fragments shed light;
Hold on tight;
A window cracks;
Glimpses of reality reflect back;
Schemes are transparent and splattered;
My illusions have been shattered;

Victoria Levine

Players are out there always ready to take whenever an opportunity arises.  We have to be just as ready with our observation skills to spot the player, before they spot us.  Players can be obsessive when they see something they want and to see this in action can give us so much insight.  You could be at a club or a restaurant people watching and catch a player making his move.  There will be a swift quick pounce of energy projected out onto his target. Players want to capture the attention of the one they desire.  There will be no natural flow.  There will be promises made.  A brainwashing effect to give the illusion that they have compassion for you and your life.  They take it to the extreme to confuse you and lead you to believe that this connection is special and something that will last forever.  If it is meant to last forever, he will call you tomorrow, next week and there will be no push to get you to do something you are not ready for.  I talk about 18 different player types and their patterns of behavior in my book, Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: Finding The One

Fantasy Love

The one that stays and does not walk away;
The one that has your back, communication is never a lack;
By your side, proudly, the one stands;
Believing in the love you both share, walking hand in hand;
Fantasies within dreams are brought to life and together we create our own wonderland;

Victoria Levine

What is love?  It is different for everyone.  But I do believe, when we are ready for love, love happens.  We may desire it, but not be ready for it.  If we are not balanced in the rest of the areas in our life, we will find that we attract other people that are not balanced.  It is like a mirror, to help us see and grow and make changes for the better, if we are ready.  When we have done the work to love ourselves and our own lives this will then reflect and attract others that do the same.

What does it take for love to last?  It takes confidence in the connection you both share, it takes honesty, compatibility,responsibility, protection, vulnerability, patience, understanding, communication, listening, kindness, compassion and enthusiasm.  A loving relationship is a beautiful sacred thing and should be treated with respect, nurtured and taken care of mentally, physically and soulfully.  It does not just exist, it takes heart felt effort to keep this beautiful connection alive.  Time has to be put into anything worth while.  Your true love connection will grow stronger and expand into areas of your life that you had only ever dreamed of, the more you cherish, encourage and support it.

How do we find love?  By allowing it to come to us.  Be ready for it.  Take action to open doors to make your percentages higher in meeting people without obsessing.  Join a dating site.  Allow the mutual connections to happen, do not chase.  When you meet “The One” you will both know it.

By: Victoria Levine

Choices Of The Heart

Adversity

Challenges create opportunities for us to grow;
Adversity often has within it out greatest blessings to know;
When we are faced with these situations;
The blank canvas fills with the paint strokes of our own creations;
Pushing us to dig deeper into ourselves experiencing what we are truly made of;
Love;
Developing an understanding of who we are at the core of our being;
Awareness brought into light is what we are seeing;
Never second guess that which touches your heart;
It is never too late to make a new start;

Victoria Levine

Choices are made on our journey of life.  It is important to be flexible and know that these choices can always be changed or rearranged.  Sometimes we learn as we go, realizing what works and what does not work for us.  We may be on a path of a certain intention and an opportunity may come up.  Pay attention, this could be the opportunity that you really desire.  One relationship may lead you to a situation where you meet the love of your life.  A part time job that you have could could lead to communicating with people who bring about a connection to your  dream job.  There are always new potentialities coming into play to be looked at.  A door will always open up to us with options and opportunities.  If it is what you want take action with courage and faith, never second guess that which touches your heart!

By: Victoria Levine

 

Interview With Victoria Levine by Deborrah Cooper

To hear the live recording, just click on the link above…
Deborrah Cooper will be interviewing Victoria Levine on her book,
on the Date Smarter Not Harder Relationships Talk Show on Sunday
May 20th at 5:30 pm (PST). Please join us!
Wolf in Sheeps Clothing – Author Victoria Levine
The interview went great!  Thank you Deborrah Cooper!

Victoria Levine’s Interview With Singles Warehouse in the United Kingdom

Recently Victoria was interviewed by Singles Warehouse, the only destination in the UK to meet singles online. Click here to read the complete interview. Don’t forget to leave some comments.  Get to know more about Victoria, her passion behind her “How To Date” site with insight and why she wrote her book, Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing.  http://getdatinginsight.com/wolf-in-sheeps-clothing/

How To Date: Reality Dating

Possibilities

I will be your friend if you will be mine;
Appreciating our communication over distance and time;
Anything is possible when the heart is followed;
Creating the reality that one desires while ego and fear are
swallowed;

By: Victoria Levine

What do we feel are realistic choices that  we decide on in choosing a partner?  The bottom line is we choose our own reality!  

If there is something wonderful out there that has the potential to be attained, it will be worth exploring.  A risk of the heart is always at stake but as the saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Only we know what we want.  Listen to your heart, without second guessing yourself and your answers will be clear. Once you second guess yourself, your head will start spinning and your thoughts will spiral out of control.  When meeting someone and finding you both share a passionate connection with many other interests in common, let it be all that it is meant to be.  No games, just observe one another over time to see if action backs up passion, or if it is all talk.  If enthusiasm turns into effort, you have a sincere person in front of you.  Enjoy, respect, share intimately, communicate lovingly and nurture the relationship.  Let it blossom and grow every day, discovering something new and beautiful about each other.  Love, compatibility, sex, laughter, kindness, compassion, romance and caring lay a strong foundation for a successful relationship.

By: Victoria Levine

 

How To Date: Routine = Rut

Routine Can Lead To A Rut Within Relationships

Life gets busy and it is easy to become a creature of habit.  Whether you are just dating, in an exclusive relationship or married, it is important to keep things fresh.  Mix it up a bit.  Instead of watching sitcoms on television, rent or download a movie and snuggle on the couch. Do you like to eat together, finding yourselves eating out a lot?  Try going to the grocery store together to buy food for a cooking date.  Food can be very sensual and even more so when you prepare it together, having fun, enjoying a glass of wine and sampling the meal as you cook, feeding each other tastes.  A massage exchange is always fun.  Light some candles, put on some music and relax.  Use your imagination allowing the element of spontaneity and surprise to excite your relationship.  It is great to plan, then you have things to look forward to.  It is also necessary to create surprises when least expected.  This not only shows how much you appreciate the other person, it keeps the spark you share together going.  Having fun together was one of the reasons you both started to date and it should always be a priority.  Explore, experience, share, give and receive.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: Q & A’s

An Interview:

Jordan from, Lipstick and Play Dates, interviews Victoria Levine, author of: Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing http://lipstickandplaydates.wordpress.com/recommended-play-books/book-wolf-in-sheeps-clothing/

Players.  How do you spot them?  But more so, how do you avoid them?

With so many players on the dating scene, trying to separate the good guys from the bad can be confusing.  And, while you certainly don’t want to peg every potential date as a liar, you also don’t want to be so gullible that you get played.

For this reason, coupled with my own disastrous dating history, I was intrigued with Victoria Levine’s book Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing.  To help women cut through the patterns of manipulation players use in dating and life, Victoria has broken them down into 18 types.

1. You have a very rich and interesting background — poet, artist,
mother.  So, why at this point in your life, did you decide to write a
book, and more so a book  about players?

At this time in my life I embrace how precious every moment is and how
important it is for quality situations and people to be a part of our
lives.  This is different for everyone.  If people would be honest
about what they want or what it is they are looking for, life and
dating would be much easier.  There are many people out there who
manipulate because they have hidden agendas.  I have chosen to help
others see through these manipulation patterns of deception by
identifying 18 player types and their patterns of behavior.

 2. In the book you list the qualities of 18 different player types.
Is it possible for someone not to fall into one category, but be a
composite of several different types?

A player may have more than one type within him, usually they are a
mix of 3 to 5 player types, but most of the time one of these 18
player types stand out.

3. Regardless of type, what is the main thing all players have in
common?  And is there one type that especially needs to be avoided?

All players use skillful manipulation to achieve their desired result.
Players seek to control your behavior by maneuvering and blanketing
you in a masquerade of deception. Metaphorically speaking, players are
like puppet masters pulling your strings and guiding you with cunning
intelligence, pushing you into whatever roll they want you to play.
Players plan out their every move and will use whatever they feel is
their strongest asset to lure you in. It could be anything from having
a lot of money, a nice car, a beautiful home, being attractive, having
a great smile, or having a great body. Whatever they think will peak
your interest.

#12 Despiser  player should be avoided completely.  Underneath it all
he is repulsed by women from a past hurt form a woman or something
that he chooses to blame on a woman and he will take his anger out on
you. He needs therapy.

4. You talk about the player with integrity, which almost seems like a
contradiction.  Can explain this?

You will, on occasion, meet a player with integrity. These types of
men are completely honest about where they are coming from; they just
want sex and are up front about it. I put this kind of man into the
non-relationship or non-committal category. They do not believe in
committed relationships. They may see you and spend time with you, but
believe that people cannot get all that they need from one
relationship. You could end up having a beautiful connection with this
type of man, but your relationship will always be open. These men will
spend time with many women during their life as they are free spirits
who do not want a commitment, just experiences. They will always
appreciate and respect you; therefore, is not a player in the true
sense of the word. Players deceive and lie to make women believe you
have a real connection or an exclusive relationship with them while
only desiring sex.

5. What came through in your book is your loving and gentle approach
in advising women.  Your quick to acknowledge that at different stages
of our lives, we have different  relationship needs.  In closing, what
is the best piece of dating and relationship advice can you offer?

We are all different and what works for one woman does not mean it
will work for you.  In dating and in life you must do what is best for
you and not for your friends or for society or for religious dogma. Do
not let what others do brainwash you into thinking you have to be in
the mainstream. You are an individual and you know what is best for
you. Always remember the answers are inside of you.

Jordan’s Website and blog, Lipstick and Play Dates, can be viewed at:http://lipstickandplaydates.wordpress.com/

Players And The Playa Game

WOLF IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING

A person’s true colors always rise to the surface, ignited, sparked
and fired;
The conviction of one’s volition is always something to be admired;
The perfect vision spoken being painted in your mind;
To hook, line and sinker you blind;
Dominating you with his hidden intention;
Swearing forever only wanting your attention;
Very persuasive he makes you feel as though together you both
have ascended;
It is a premeditated smoke screen he has presented;
A methodical trap;
He has women he sleeps with all over the map;
Riding their backs for all he may need;
Leaving behind many hearts to bleed;
He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing with his predator ways acquired;
Reeling you into his world to quench all he may want and have
desired;
Late nights out with the boys;
Treating women like toys;
Little Red Riding Hood had a plan;
She has to be one step ahead of her man;
Little Red believed in truth and would shine light on lies to be
seen and not hidden;
The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing is addicted to deception seeking
pleasures that are forbidden;
He covets to gain more;
Never satisfied by something he has had before;
Girlfriend, mistress and action on the side;
Intuition, Little Red must confide;
Apparently he cannot go for long without getting his ego fed;
Let us see if we can set him up to fall into Sexy Granny’s bed;
By the way, Sexy Granny is the ripe old age of twenty-three;
Strutting her stuff in the prime of youth for all to see;
Nicknamed Sexy Granny for all the wisdom she contains;
The sensuality within her always sustains;
With Sexy Granny as bait;
Little Red seals her own fate;
The Wolf spots Sexy Granny and follows her trail;
Those bread crumbs you are dropping are really quite stale;
Sexy Granny strokes the Wolf with flattery and he got off on all
that she said;
Back to her place, Sexy Granny led;
They connected under the covers
Like midnight lovers;
Wolf hit the street;
No guilt from his deceit;
Climbing into bed;
With Little Red;
The next day Red said, “Wolf, let me give you a tip;”
If you want to play do not be in a committed relationship;
Why do you not trust me? You are so insecure, you are acting
insane;
Wolf’s anger emerges with manipulation tactics spinning
around in his brain;
I believe your comment about trust is misstated;
Red hands Wolf a copy of the DVD Sexy Granny created;
My privacy has been invaded;
Wolf you are so jaded;
It looked more like your ego was serenaded;
You are just angry that you got caught;
It is very clear here what you sought;
Hidden cameras do not lie;
Goodbye;
This imaginary relationship is over and done with;
The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing is not a myth;
You are it;
The shoe does fit;
And I refuse to settle on thee;
For there is an abundant amount of fish in the sea;

Victoria Levine

It is not a nursery rhyme, The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing really does exist and will do whatever it takes to achieve gaining his desired result.  Do not think you can change a player.  That is what they want you to think.  As soon as they have concurred you, you are viewed as disposable to them.  Hearts are broken and the memory of you is just a token or another notch on their belt of conquests.

Self worth must be valued, known and owned.  Do not waste your time on a player!

I must confess, I fell in love with a player. Of course I did not realize it at the time, but there were signs at nearly all stages of the relationship; from beginning to end. I chose to second guess myself, go against my intuition, and allow him to convince me that I was delusional. I even let my boundaries become crossed because I fell in love with the idea of what the relationship could have been, not what it actually had been. I did not look at his actions, I just listend to his words which manipulated me and allowed me to easily ignore the reality of what his actions actually were.

This is a harsh reality, but its real, and it happens every day to unsuspecting victims. Educate yourself about who you are with, ask many questions, look for patterns, and observe him and his friends. Listen to your intuition, keeping your eyes wide open, and look out for the Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: iPhone Case Condom Holder

Whether you are interested in just sex, dating different people or using condoms for birth control, it is important to use quality condoms that are stored properly.  A dry cool place is preferable.  If your bathroom is where you keep your condoms the moisture will not hurt them.  Do not keep your condoms in your car, the heat from the sunshine will destroy them. Your condoms need to come out of the package moist, bouncy and fresh.  If they are shrunken up, lifeless and dried out do not use them.  You risk the chance of them breaking.

It is better to be prepared and safe when in comes to spontaneous intimate situations.  Being discrete while carrying your condoms on you can be quite a challenge.  There is nothing worse than being on a date, reaching in your wallet to pay the bill and a condom falls out.  Or, there is a condom imprint on the outside of your wallet, yikes.  While reaching into your cocktail  purse for your compact to freshen up your lipstick or gloss, as you pull out your make up, a condom comes along for the ride, whoops.

Seeing the visual of a condom before your relationship or encounter has become intimate can be a turn off or a turn on.  Yes it is very smart to be prepared, but if you are looking to have an exclusive relationship the one you are dating may get the idea that you are only interested in having sex, believing that if you are carrying condoms you are using them with other people.  Even if you are both not interested in a relationship, seeing the condom before you have decided if this is a person you want to have sex with can be a deal breaker.  It can make the whole encounter feel robotic, rehearsed and kill the feeling of spontaneity.

The imagination takes minds into wonderland and thoughts of your lifestyle and habits will be questioned.   Whether you are a relationship person or not, discreteness is vital.  So ladies, make sure you have a secure zipper pocket inside your purse. Men, a cosmetic bag, pencil case or small concealed container can be used and put in you car, but do not leave it in you car during the day, the heat will ruin the condoms.

The newest way to carry your condoms discretely is inside the new iPhone Case, called the “Playa Case” that contains a hidden storage space. It is a protective Poly carbonate hard case specifically designed for the iPhone 4/4S, featuring a discrete storage compartment. Easily accessed by a secure and reliable sliding action at the rear of this super-thin cover, the compartment can carry two condoms in complete privacy. No condoms falling on the red carpet for the Playa Case owner!

Click here for Playa Case Video: Playa™ Case Video

The Playa Case joins Annex’s imaginative line of protective cases. The idea behind the Playa Case is to ensure that protection is never farther away than your fingertips. The Playa Case will retail for $29.95 and be available in three colors – black, white and pink. The Playa Case will be available in the summer 2012. Sign up here:  Playa Case to be among the first to receive a Playa!

You will then be ready for sex any where, any time or any place.  Having sex outside, in the car on a hike, or at the beach can be very exciting.

Some ladies believe it is a man’s job to get the condoms.  Realistically it should be thought of as a mutual responsibility.  If you are the one that buys the condoms, you know what you are getting, how new and what style they are.  Most men like the ultra thin versions, but if you are a woman that likes extra friction, you may want to try the ribbed version.  Once you have found the style that works for you, why rely on someone else to get the condoms?

A bad condom can ruin you whole sexual encounter.  It needs to fit properly, not to tight and it should never be loose.  It should feel soft and supple, while fitting and feeling comfortable during friction.  Men will know their size, but ladies, I would keep medium, large and extra large on hand.

By: Victoria Levine

 

 

 

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