love

How To Date: Expressing Love

The power of freedom felt within a relationship makes your relationship stronger.

 

Love must be allowed to express itself freely, like a butterfly’s radiant energy that ignites when it spreads it’s wings and takes flight, surrounding you in a magical dance of colorful light. If you try to control the butterfly by keeping it captive you will cause the wings of magic to turn to dust and the radiant light of love will dim and fall away from you. The shine that once surrounded you out of choice will be doused and extinguished from the fear of a flight you had no control of. Freedom felt within a relationship brings you both closer, knowing you can leave and put your attention elsewhere but then choosing to stay out of choice, makes each person realize where their priorities lie and how much they love being with each other.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: Single Parent

Bliss

Reconciliation is not a plan;
As two single parents we stand;
Procreated;
The birth of a baby created;
This;
Is bliss;
Life exploded into being;
The beauty of this blessing is what we are foreseeing;
Responsibility of innocence is honored and faced;
Extended family is kindly embraced;
Starting over with a child;
Feeling liked a domesticated cat, released out into the wild
Having the pleasure of loving my baby, learning from one another as we both grow;
Selfless giving I bestow;
To give to my child fills my heart with love, strong and bold;
Receiving back is a reflection of the mirror I hold;
Yes, my relationship has shifted;
But, a new opportunity to have what I desire in a partner has been gifted;

Victoria Levine

Well here you are, circumstances and choices have lead you to becoming a single parent.  As a single parent you have many responsibilities and sometimes you may feel as though your life is not your own.  Your life is yours you just have an extension of other lives within yours.  It is important to have a piece of it that is just for you.  You need balance and that self nurturing time that you can call your own.  It may be time put aside to work out at the gym or take yoga, these places usually have affordable day care.  It could be reading a book, playing a sport, learning a hobby or signing up for a class you want to take.  It could be getting out with your friends or having a passionate night of amazing sex.   All of these things help us to stay balanced in life.  A happy healthy life, is a balanced life.  Utilizing any family members or close friends that are willing to help babysit is a must.  Spread it out so no one feels taken advantage of, keeping it a fun and pleasant experience for everyone.  If money is not an issue, having hired trustworthy help is a great benefit.  Especially for a working single parent.  If money is an issue, trading off with another single parent once a week, watching each other’s kids, can work out well, especially for date night.  Yes date night.  You are a single parent, you are not dead.

Dating can be tricky, but here are a few tips:

Keep your love life and dating experiences separate from your kids;

If you are just looking to have fun, do not get into detail about your kids.

If you are looking for a relationship, you do want to let who you are dating know that you do have kids.  If this scares them off, better sooner than later.

Wait at least 5 to 6 months before planning an introduction.  You need to establish your feelings for one another before you start including the kids, even if you both have kids.  It seems easy to just bring everyone together, giving you more chances to see each other, but you do not want to bring people into your life that your child could become attached to and then have them disappear.

If the X gives you guilt for having a life, do not let it effect you.  As long as you are spending quality time with your children and their needs are met, you are fine.  The X may be a little jealous.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: Finding Your Yellow Brick Road

Heart’s Song

Hear the gentle voice whispering to us from our soul;
Allowing intuition to direct us with our goal;
When taking the time to listen, guidance is clear;
The imagined visualization becomes very near;
Manifesting our next move without force;
Fear of the unknown, rejected, never changing our course;
Calculated risks we take;
The line of our comfort zone, we break;
Stepping out of the box;
Limitations in our mind are sent to detox;
We are all special in our own unique ways;
Radiant in our essence, like the suns rays;
Experience is a blessing where wisdom is grown;
Desires are then discovered, setting the tone;
Change is the trigger to life’s stepping stones;
Core values are what balance us, like the support of our skeletal bones;
We must always remember the gift that we are;
No two people are identical, we are all individual shining stars;
Blooming positive actions, the door to negativity is closed;
Letting love enter our being like the dew that nurtures the bud of a rose;
Loving ourselves from within;
Is where true love begins;
Time for past baggage to unload;
Finding your freshly painted yellow brick road;
Our chosen choice is never wrong;
There are many pathways that lead us to our hearts song;

Victoria Levine

The process of life is a journey, you must enjoy the ride.  Whatever it is you are striving for, an intriguing and compatible relationship, sexual experiences, a new career, buying a home, moving to a new country, meeting new people to have fun with, whatever it is, it is your life and these dreams are important to you.  Never allow anyone to stomp on your dreams.  Surround yourself with people that support you in who you are and what you are becoming.  As you travel through life you will have encounters with all types of people, from all walks of life with many different views and perspectives.  It can be refreshing to hear different points of view and these differences should be respected.  If ever anyone is more concerned about being right and talks down to you about your view, just let it roll off and do not take it personally.   This experience is just a stepping stone leading you to where you want to be.  Sometimes making you aware of what you do not want and showing you different opportunities you can either take or walk away from.  Listen to your intuition letting it help you see the bigger picture, having fun on every stepping stone, while you decide if this stepping stone is the one that leads you to the path you want to travel on.  If not,  just keep climbing and experiencing, staying focused on your goal.  Enjoy the ride.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: Are You Being Played?

Do they really love you, or are they just stroking your ego to gain something from you?  This can be a hard game to figure out.  Nobody likes to be played and players will go to any length to get what they want.

Shattered Illusions

Telling me what you think I want to here;
Being my friend because you like my career;
Promises are broken;
Lies are spoken;
Truth is diluted into sugar coated complements;
Tide of the sea fluctuating, revealing deceptive currents;
We must always remember to be observant;
Smiles pasted;
Deception tasted;
Energy wasted;
Roasted and basted;
Cooked and burned;
Lessons being learned;
Stabbed from behind;
Temporarily blind;
Two faced lover;
The pendulum swings from one extreme to the other;
No relief in the in between;
Users are seen;
Spider weaves her web of confusion;
Pulling and enticing all, into her intricate design of delusion;
Shedding skin like a snake;
Removing the grasp from those that take;
Tossing coal into the fire;
Smoking out self serving people, with greed driven desires;
Sensuality snatched;
Hurt feelings patched;
Wits matched;
Golden door of protection latched;
The attained skill gained of being detached;
A rebirth of perspective has hatched;
Crystal goblet held, slips from the hand;
Hitting the granite floor, turning into sand;
An explosion of fragments shed light;
Hold on tight;
A window cracks;
Glimpses of reality reflect back;
Schemes are transparent and splattered;
My illusions have been shattered;

Victoria Levine

Players are out there always ready to take whenever an opportunity arises.  We have to be just as ready with our observation skills to spot the player, before they spot us.  Players can be obsessive when they see something they want and to see this in action can give us so much insight.  You could be at a club or a restaurant people watching and catch a player making his move.  There will be a swift quick pounce of energy projected out onto his target. Players want to capture the attention of the one they desire.  There will be no natural flow.  There will be promises made.  A brainwashing effect to give the illusion that they have compassion for you and your life.  They take it to the extreme to confuse you and lead you to believe that this connection is special and something that will last forever.  If it is meant to last forever, he will call you tomorrow, next week and there will be no push to get you to do something you are not ready for.  I talk about 18 different player types and their patterns of behavior in my book, Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing.

By: Victoria Levine

How To Date: Finding The One

Fantasy Love

The one that stays and does not walk away;
The one that has your back, communication is never a lack;
By your side, proudly, the one stands;
Believing in the love you both share, walking hand in hand;
Fantasies within dreams are brought to life and together we create our own wonderland;

Victoria Levine

What is love?  It is different for everyone.  But I do believe, when we are ready for love, love happens.  We may desire it, but not be ready for it.  If we are not balanced in the rest of the areas in our life, we will find that we attract other people that are not balanced.  It is like a mirror, to help us see and grow and make changes for the better, if we are ready.  When we have done the work to love ourselves and our own lives this will then reflect and attract others that do the same.

What does it take for love to last?  It takes confidence in the connection you both share, it takes honesty, compatibility,responsibility, protection, vulnerability, patience, understanding, communication, listening, kindness, compassion and enthusiasm.  A loving relationship is a beautiful sacred thing and should be treated with respect, nurtured and taken care of mentally, physically and soulfully.  It does not just exist, it takes heart felt effort to keep this beautiful connection alive.  Time has to be put into anything worth while.  Your true love connection will grow stronger and expand into areas of your life that you had only ever dreamed of, the more you cherish, encourage and support it.

How do we find love?  By allowing it to come to us.  Be ready for it.  Take action to open doors to make your percentages higher in meeting people without obsessing.  Join a dating site.  Allow the mutual connections to happen, do not chase.  When you meet “The One” you will both know it.

By: Victoria Levine

Choices Of The Heart

Adversity

Challenges create opportunities for us to grow;
Adversity often has within it out greatest blessings to know;
When we are faced with these situations;
The blank canvas fills with the paint strokes of our own creations;
Pushing us to dig deeper into ourselves experiencing what we are truly made of;
Love;
Developing an understanding of who we are at the core of our being;
Awareness brought into light is what we are seeing;
Never second guess that which touches your heart;
It is never too late to make a new start;

Victoria Levine

Choices are made on our journey of life.  It is important to be flexible and know that these choices can always be changed or rearranged.  Sometimes we learn as we go, realizing what works and what does not work for us.  We may be on a path of a certain intention and an opportunity may come up.  Pay attention, this could be the opportunity that you really desire.  One relationship may lead you to a situation where you meet the love of your life.  A part time job that you have could could lead to communicating with people who bring about a connection to your  dream job.  There are always new potentialities coming into play to be looked at.  A door will always open up to us with options and opportunities.  If it is what you want take action with courage and faith, never second guess that which touches your heart!

By: Victoria Levine

 

How To Date: Reality Dating

Possibilities

I will be your friend if you will be mine;
Appreciating our communication over distance and time;
Anything is possible when the heart is followed;
Creating the reality that one desires while ego and fear are
swallowed;

By: Victoria Levine

What do we feel are realistic choices that  we decide on in choosing a partner?  The bottom line is we choose our own reality!  

If there is something wonderful out there that has the potential to be attained, it will be worth exploring.  A risk of the heart is always at stake but as the saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Only we know what we want.  Listen to your heart, without second guessing yourself and your answers will be clear. Once you second guess yourself, your head will start spinning and your thoughts will spiral out of control.  When meeting someone and finding you both share a passionate connection with many other interests in common, let it be all that it is meant to be.  No games, just observe one another over time to see if action backs up passion, or if it is all talk.  If enthusiasm turns into effort, you have a sincere person in front of you.  Enjoy, respect, share intimately, communicate lovingly and nurture the relationship.  Let it blossom and grow every day, discovering something new and beautiful about each other.  Love, compatibility, sex, laughter, kindness, compassion, romance and caring lay a strong foundation for a successful relationship.

By: Victoria Levine

 

Forgiveness

Conditional Love

The miracle of pregnancy was gifted to you;
Your hope heightened as your baby grew;
Damn that bitch that grows inside of you;
Traveling through the womb into nonacceptance and disbelief;
Umbilical cord wrapped tightly around her neck, good grief;
Delivery process held back;
Paused by the sense of lack;
Innocence falsely held, by the hands of love that was conditional;
Gazed at with disappointment, the acceptance of this bliss was fake and nontraditional;
Smiles being ignored because of the absence of a penis;
Unheard and disrespected, this birth may have well have happened on Venus;
The tables were turned when another was born;
At last their true affection, a baby boy came into form;
Never knowing why she wasn’t enough;
Showing her true self to those that laughed and called her ridiculous;
Stroked into feeling she would fail;
To young to understand their preference was male;
Unloved, shut down and controlled by a stare;
Why did they need to control if they did not care?
Unfairness and shallowness, she then stopped listening;
She observed for a while as her eyes stopped glistening;
Never looked at as precious, only looked at as a nuisance;
Feeling lost and not sure why she is here, wanting her life to make sense;
Trapped in a box of darkness;
Please, someone rescue her from this harshness;
Venturing off to ignite her passionate self, feeling as though she never had a father or mother;
Exploring and watching how others love another;
Never nurtured on her journey to womanhood;
Never cherished from mom like a mother should;
Menstrual cycle came;
You will be fine, no time to explain;
But I need you.  Sorry, I have guests to entertain;
Snickered at like a freak;
She was a girl no longer;
As the woman in her became more beautiful, the jealousy became stronger;
Rejection from the ones that are supposed to love you stings like no other hurt;
Self esteem is tarnished and questioned is her self worth;
With a hole in her heart, she was looking for acceptance and a wealth of knowledge;
Frozen in time, feeling trapped on a ledge;
Entranced with the dance of love and affection;
Where is it?  Who has it? How can she be it and have it and avoid rejection?
Then remembering, she was born with it, to be able to love herself unconditionally, never questioning her faith or feeling defeated;
Loving and respecting herself, treating herself the same way, she desires to be treated;

Victoria Levine

From her first breath, she was faced with rejection.  Ouch!  Whatever we were born into, came upon or were pushed into during life, we have to forgive the people and the situation that hurt us.  It is all in the past.  It can no longer hurt us or control us because now we are adults with the power to stand up for ourselves and to walk away from toxic situations.  It is tragic when we are not treated with support and love by our parents, teachers or friends while growing up.  It is devastating while we go through these hurts.  But, these people, who do not care about us, are examples of what we do not want in our lives.  Opinions of others is just that, their opinions!  It is up to each and every one of us to break the pattern of hurtful behavior.  We can win by choosing to be different than the way we were treated, having compassion for those that do not understand how important the gift of kindness really is.  Everyone has a story.  We must not be our story but be what the story taught us and then put that story in the past where it belongs.  Taking the wisdom we gained from it and knowing that we deserve to be loved and we are lovable, it just takes the right people in our lives to support this.  Making smart choices of who you have close to you in your life is very important.  We as individuals have the power to love ourselves always and treat ourselves with dignity and respect.  Having these same qualities in our relationships should be nurtured and supported.  It starts with self love and then our love will bring in others who believe in love because they will feel the positive energy we have and exude.  Let it be contagious!  Never judging those that do not walk the same path as you.  We are all learning and growing at different paces and different levels.  Be grateful that you see a clear reality of how important it is to treat life, people and all living creatures with love and respect.

By: Victoria Levine

 

 

 

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