Bliss

Reconciliation is not a plan;
As two single parents we stand;
Procreated;
The birth of a baby created;
This;
Is bliss;
Life exploded into being;
The beauty of this blessing is what we are foreseeing;
Responsibility of innocence is honored and faced;
Extended family is kindly embraced;
Starting over with a child;
Feeling liked a domesticated cat, released out into the wild
Having the pleasure of loving my baby, learning from one another as we both grow;
Selfless giving I bestow;
To give to my child fills my heart with love, strong and bold;
Receiving back is a reflection of the mirror I hold;
Yes, my relationship has shifted;
But, a new opportunity to have what I desire in a partner has been gifted;

Victoria Levine

Well here you are, circumstances and choices have lead you to becoming a single parent.  As a single parent you have many responsibilities and sometimes you may feel as though your life is not your own.  Your life is yours you just have an extension of other lives within yours.  It is important to have a piece of it that is just for you.  You need balance and that self nurturing time that you can call your own.  It may be time put aside to work out at the gym or take yoga, these places usually have affordable day care.  It could be reading a book, playing a sport, learning a hobby or signing up for a class you want to take.  It could be getting out with your friends or having a passionate night of amazing sex.   All of these things help us to stay balanced in life.  A happy healthy life, is a balanced life.  Utilizing any family members or close friends that are willing to help babysit is a must.  Spread it out so no one feels taken advantage of, keeping it a fun and pleasant experience for everyone.  If money is not an issue, having hired trustworthy help is a great benefit.  Especially for a working single parent.  If money is an issue, trading off with another single parent once a week, watching each other’s kids, can work out well, especially for date night.  Yes date night.  You are a single parent, you are not dead.

Dating can be tricky, but here are a few tips:

Keep your love life and dating experiences separate from your kids;

If you are just looking to have fun, do not get into detail about your kids.

If you are looking for a relationship, you do want to let who you are dating know that you do have kids.  If this scares them off, better sooner than later.

Wait at least 5 to 6 months before planning an introduction.  You need to establish your feelings for one another before you start including the kids, even if you both have kids.  It seems easy to just bring everyone together, giving you more chances to see each other, but you do not want to bring people into your life that your child could become attached to and then have them disappear.

If the X gives you guilt for having a life, do not let it effect you.  As long as you are spending quality time with your children and their needs are met, you are fine.  The X may be a little jealous.

By: Victoria Levine